Somewhere I Belong

The feeling of coming to a breakdown. I close my eyes and feel their words, I realize they are right and that I should have known better. I did not mean to get angry, I did not mean to yell, I just wanted somebody to listen. I just wanted somebody to show concern, or interest that I was trying to get their attention. But it only had negative effects. Now where am I? Sitting alone, in South Dakota hoping one person back home is thinking of me right now. I did not want to leave my friends ( I loved them and they loved me!), I had to, I thought it would make everything right again. You cannot run from your problems they will follow you wherever you go. You can escape the old ones, but the thought of having them done once brings on a chance you will do them again. Especially if you are weak and unwilling to change.
So on another note, I hate that I am one of the guys. OKAY that is a huge lie, I love being one of the homies. It is just sooner or later, or even in the beginning, one of those guys develops a little something, something for me. You know, he starts to have feelings for me. Then I realize I have feelings for his friend, oh okay sweet so we are just a huge love triangle right now. The perfect mess that nobody wants to clean up, because no matter how careful we all are, someone’s heart is bound to be left on the floor, if not all of them. I have not learned yet that this happens with every group of guys I am friends with. Well I mean I have, I just have not learned how to control it. It happens more then twice a year, which is why I am such a floater among my friends, I cannot control being with one group for too long, I hate the drama. But it just sucks because I have found that group of kids that I truly love being with and now it is happening all over again. I will put my feelings aside now just like I always do.